Mon, 05 Jun 2000
The wine with the rubber cork in it is fancy-smancy.
[June 5, 2000 @ 04:35 PM]
I ran out of milk so I mixed some coffee creamer with water for my cereal. It tastes surprisingly good. Hey FTP Frank, how many lumps of sugar does your Sarah L. who lives in the rabbit hole like to gnaw on? I don't have enough coffee creamer here to make her cereal too. She'll have to eat sugar lumps.
[June 5, 2000 @ 07:30 AM]
FTP Frank FTPed me again and said that he thought he had a chance with Sarah L. I bet Sarah L. lives down a rabbit hole.
[June 5, 2000 @ 07:24 AM]
I had a dream last night that a big rat ran across my chest. I woke up and yelled "RAT!!!", threw all my covers off and jumped out of bed. There wasn't any rat, but I could have sworn something ran across my chest.
[June 5, 2000 @ 07:22 AM]
Sun, 04 Jun 2000
FTP Frank lives in Frankfurt VA! Ahhh-HA-HA !!! I got you didn't I FTP Frank! You thought I was going to give out your shed address, well I didn't. Now you will forever have to sweat in fear wondering when I may or may not put your shed address up on the net. You can't stay online forever FTP Frank.
[June 4, 2000 @ 06:29 PM]
I thought it was funny that my one post didn't have a title. I knew it was you FTP Frank all along! And to think I attributed it to the "Title Eating Monster"! I just wanted you to admit it. Now I am gonna give out the home address of your shed in the next post I put up FTP Frank. FTP FRANK'S SHED ADDRESS IN THE NEXT POST - BE SURE TO READ IT!!!
[June 4, 2000 @ 06:25 PM]
FTP Frank just FTPed me and told me that "gravy" was not the answer to the riddle. Well guess what FTP Frank, normal contributing members of society do not believe things said by people who live in sheds. And that means you FTP Frank since you live in a shed that isn't even yours I might add. Furthermore I would like to point out that it is people like you that the government targets to do their fake alien abductions and autopsies on to cover up whatever they are putting into gravy. I'm not saying I have or haven't ever worked for the government FTP Frank, I'm just saying you'd better watch it or pretty soon there is gonna be a documentary on Discovery about how FTP Frank was forced to eat blue mimeograph with the blue inky flying fat girl. So fuck you FTP Frank and the fey sailboat you sailed in on. The answer will forever and ever, ever "gravy". Now, you'd better go watch the skies FTP Frank, watch them.
[June 4, 2000 @ 06:16 PM]
Do you remember that dumbass riddle that went around a couple months ago and had everybody in an uproar? The riddle was: "There are three words in the English language that end in "gry". ONE is angry and the other is hungry. EveryONE knows what the third ONE means and what it stands for. EveryONE uses them everyday, and if you listened very carefully, I"ve given you the third word. What is it? __________gry?" Well I figured it out all on my own. It wasn't whatever dumbass answer they said it was it was what I discovered. The answer to the riddle is gravy. Everyone uses gravy everyday and loves it. I'm gonna go fill my bathtub with gravy right now and slide in to my gravy bath. I'm a master mind. Feel my mental wizardry.
[June 4, 2000 @ 06:00 PM]
I've been thinking about it. I didn't hap onto this whole mimeograph blue ink thing by chance; this is BIGGER than me and I know it. I'm way out of my league. This is better than Alien Autopsy, cause the blue ink is real, very real... Hell, I bet if that monster truck fat woman who spread Nutello on the Fig Newton I gave here were here right now and we had some blue ink mimeographs, she'd scarf them right up. All that blue ink would get all pasty around her fat swollen lips and she drool blue inky saliva just like a big blue fat fly. Then I'd say "Air Raid!" and her big fat blue oozing fly ass would pinball through the air in fear just like Mr. Presely. Mr. Presely said aliens are real and that why he is a memeber of the NRA cause pretty soon the aliens are going to Battlefield Earth and he wants to protect himself. FTP Frank, do me a favor, ask you new age crystal panzy friends what they think of the blue ink and monster truck fat girls who might or might not eat it.
[June 4, 2000 @ 02:52 PM]
Money isn't in the Internet. Money or doe, as we call it around here, is in the blue ink mimeographs cause people love the way it smells. Down with FTP Frank and his world wide money pit of conspiracy.
[June 4, 2000 @ 02:23 PM]
All the photocopying machines are going to get disposed of and instead we are going to use those mimeograph machines that use the blue ink cause I like the smell of that blue ink. It makes me feel funny in the head.
[June 4, 2000 @ 02:20 PM]
To prove that the Internet was a good investment, FTP Frank just changed the "ph" of phone to "ff" in my previous post. FTP Frank, I'm warning you. If you keep horsing around and I'm going to post the address of that shed you live in on a couple sites. I bet you are living there illegally anyway. Do the Martin's know you live in their shed? I know your mom knows the Martins, but that doesn't count for two-wong-foos in the real world. You and your shitty looser shed FTP Frank. You are on the damn net to much. You ought to go out and get some sun. Fear me FTP Frank, fear me. I know where you shed.
[June 4, 2000 @ 08:35 AM]
FTP Frank ffoned me the other day and said I should invest in the Internet cause pretty soon it was going to be worth big money. Maybe. I just don't buy it.
[June 4, 2000 @ 08:25 AM]
A monster must have eaten the title on the post I did before this one.
[June 4, 2000 @ 08:13 AM]
I had to clean the Sky Lights the other day. So I got up on the roof and I started shouting "Air Raid!" and old man Presley who lives across the road hit the ground. I felt pretty bad.
[June 4, 2000 @ 08:11 AM]