the mind lab

Tasty

One time I met this monster truck fat woman. She was nice. I offered her a Fig Newton and she took it. She spread Nutello on it and said it was "Tasty".

[June 4, 2000 @ 08:07 AM]
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Slippery Slut Math

So there are these two denominators, and they hire a slutty numerator. The next thing you know, you have a compound fraction spit roast going on. Show me your slope.

[June 3, 2000 @ 09:10 AM]
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Example of Number Crackers

I copied this from this off the Web: "Psychedelic hate noise, that's my buzz phrase. NEW MIND is what happens when I sit down to make music with a computer and samplers..."

This toolbox sounds like a Number Cracker. I bet he got all the way up to fractions.

Link: Visit the Example Number Cracker on the Web

[June 3, 2000 @ 09:02 AM]
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Number Crackers

That is what they call the smart white boys. Number Crackers.

[June 3, 2000 @ 08:59 AM]
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The young lambs crying through the frost,

They sound like church bells, sending their voices to my tender ear drum upon on the soft wind. These are things I can't live without! My ear spasm like Jell-O and then I feel like taking a dump! Just kidding. But I do have to take a dump.

[June 3, 2000 @ 08:51 AM]
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Roller coaster of a Day

Little spinning oriental girls with flower petal arms, NOW THAT IS EXCITING!

[June 2, 2000 @ 09:14 PM]
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Telephone

Sometimes when I answer the phone I put on a pig mask and pretend I am in the movie Killing Zoe. Does that mean I'm creepy? I've got a Rose Perot mask. I think that is creepier.

[June 2, 2000 @ 09:12 PM]
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Avant-Tard Postcards

I was rooting through the company mail bin today and I pulled some other peoples mail out. Somebody had received a postcard. On it there are all these mountain sheep on go figure, a mountain. And the mountain sheep on this mountain were eating mountain grasses. Then there was this guy in a Speedo suit on a mountain bike riding past the mountain sheep on the mountain. I'm so glad my friend don't mail me dumb shit.

[June 2, 2000 @ 01:48 PM]
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Bad Meat

The dog has been into some bad meat again. He came home with a bunch of baby white grubs on his face.

[June 2, 2000 @ 01:03 PM]
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Man or Robo

Nevermind... It was just some dude on a trapeze...

[June 1, 2000 @ 08:28 PM]
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Rejected Letter to the Editor

Dear Voodoo Lady,
I do not want you Voodoo Child. Take him back.
Sincerely,
Larry Snow

[June 1, 2000 @ 08:25 PM]
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Melts in Egypt not in the Nile

I heard that some explorers found food remnants of something very much like M and M's in King Tut's tomb. Go figure, King Tut eating M and M's. I read that in National Geographic.

[June 1, 2000 @ 07:22 PM]
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Dear Eco-Warriors

Use one square of toilet paper when you shit. Conservation is key.

[June 1, 2000 @ 06:22 PM]
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The Poop Read I left for K-Mart

I wrote this on the bathroom wall at K-Mart. "I put a wiffle ball and bat on Layaway at your store. Then I picked it up, but I didn't pay, I kidnapped it out of the store. Then I jammed it into a soda machine outside, just like I was a cat burglar. I went back later and got my wiffle batty bat and wiffle balling wiffle out. Then I swung over to McDonalds and got my picture taken smacking Hamburglar up side his burger beefy head with my wiffle bat and I mailed the photos to the K-Mart management, the FBI and OCPD. I signed all the photos, With Love, Larry Snow." I left my home phone number below my message on the K-Mart wall and later that week the store management rang me and they gave me the third degree. I told them it was a joke. I don't know if they got it.

[May 31, 2000 @ 01:24 PM]
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Tank Girl

If Tank Girl went to the Bonanza Family Style restaurant and ordered a Rib-eye, would she say "Tank you very much" when they gave her Rib-eye? I bet she would. She looks like a slut.

Link: Tank Girl

[May 31, 2000 @ 12:47 PM]
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