the mind lab

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Tue, 06 Nov 2001

Please Disregard Previous Comments...

That last part wasn't meant to be typed. And Jim just pointed out to me that today isn't Monday. What I can't figure out is how he manages to get those 2 for Tuesday deals from Flannery's on a Wednesday. I bet he's in tight with the manager or something. Nobody ever tells me anything.

[November 6, 2001 @ 12:45 PM]


I'm so glad it's Monday. I thought it was Saturday until noon when Jim came in and asked me if I wanted him to pick me up some 2 for Tuesday burgers from Flannery's. I already ate lunch though, and it was delicious. Thanks for my breakfast sandwiches, Jim! I'm so glad it's Monday. They don't know about my stash- don't tell them.

[November 6, 2001 @ 12:39 PM]

The stench

The stench was Snoopy. So I squirted him with some Fabreeze. He smells much better now. It's odd though, he's got a golf ball sized tattoo of a flaming eyeball on his back. I wonder how that happened. It looks fresh too, cause it is scabbin up. You better not pick that scab Snoopy! You'll mess up the ink job!

[November 6, 2001 @ 08:59 AM]

Mon, 05 Nov 2001


Man it reeks in here. Somebody needs to do something about this stench.

[November 5, 2001 @ 01:30 PM]

Smoking Tampax

I was smoking up at K-Pax, and I got to thinking, you know - if you remove the "r" from prot... you get pot... It was such a great idea I got hungry and I had to eat incredibly fast in order to live, for surely my mind would cannibalize itself left to its own devices. I can't tell you how much coke and popcorn I ended up dribbling on that poor woman beside me to the point she yelled at me. When she did, I started freaking out 1960's style screaming JANIS JOPLIN is ALIVE! K-Pax for my Tampax! And there it was, I bolted out of theater, bought the Tampax and started rollin like a fiend. This is gonna be a tsunami sized splash in the drug circles! I CANNOT WAIT A SECOND LONGER! Rather than pass the joint, people are just gonna "Pull there string." "Pull the string." And it will it will be like hypodermics too... you don't wanna use a dirty one

[November 5, 2001 @ 09:31 AM]

Sat, 03 Nov 2001

What Happened to Larry?

Wow, I just woke up and I'm still in my office. I have no idea how long I was out, either. I hope I'm not loosing time like those alien abductees. When they take you, you lose time and then you wake up in a bathtub full of ice, minus a kidney. Luckily, the bathroom in my office only has a stand up shower. It smells like pot in here. I wonder if I should have security look into that.

[November 3, 2001 @ 01:02 AM]

Fri, 02 Nov 2001

I was right the first time

It was definitely Bing Crosby.

[November 2, 2001 @ 02:01 PM]

Wet Rags

Put wet rags under the door to keep the smell of herb from escaping the room. I picked that one up from David Crosby. No wait, maybe it was Pat Boone.

[November 2, 2001 @ 01:59 PM]

I was soooo stoned at Harry Potter

You know I just realized, that I couldn't have possibly seen the matinee today because it is only 10:00 AM or so. Man, I must be stoned. Either that or I'm time distortion-nizing. Maybe I'm so high, I had an outer body movie experience. Screw this metaphysical crap. I'm gonna eat pizza now.

[November 2, 2001 @ 10:30 AM]

Hempy Potter

Well I got to see the matinee of Harry Potter today. Wow. I smoked a nice joint of pot while I watched it. My new cool hairdo and feather ear ring allow me to engage in the activities of youth, like dope and Harry Potter. Although I am surprised nobody said anything to me... They must have been frightened. I guess it is the classic youth threatening the old gaurd thing. But who cares, all I'm saying is get stoned at Harry Potter! Man the kids are gonna love this flick.

[November 2, 2001 @ 10:20 AM]

Thu, 01 Nov 2001

Movie Phone

The movie line hung up on me three times in a row. I never did figure out what time "Harry Potter" started. I saw K-Pax instead.

[November 1, 2001 @ 08:21 PM]


Oh my... the title to the last post is a ghost. Where did it "go"st. Ha-ha-ha. Man I'm funny.

[November 1, 2001 @ 09:38 AM]

This post is in reference to the incident involving Jim’s winning, and subsequent loosing of the title employee of the year. Well Jim, I can’t help that you don’t read the “Mind Lab” on a regular basis. As you know, I’m a busy hip man, with a hip dew, and in the world of hip, we the hip don’t have time to tell everything that we decide to those who are unhiply affected by our decision making processi. So when I placed the reward for the title in your file cabinet, how was I to know that the puppy would do his business on your important paper work? And I’m sorry that spent all day cleaning it up. If you had of checked your file cabinet before you left work, then Snoopy wouldn’t have been in their overnight. You’re damn lucky that he survived. And yes Jim, you may have been very upset you lost months of hard work to a mire of puppy mess, but all I’m saying is this, in the future, Jim, maybe you should “think” before you give your opinions so freely especially if you are a little upset. Because when we are upset, we all have a tendency to say things we regret. Now I know you were afraid I’d fire you when I asked you how old I looked. You voiced this concern several times, and as and I told you then, I’m bigger than that. But honestly Jim, your reply, “Larry… the haircut really doesn’t suit you…” was the wrong answer. My age has nothing to do with my choice in hairstyles. You still have your job Jim, but you’ve lost your employee of the year title as well Snoopy the crappy puppy which I have taken back.

[November 1, 2001 @ 08:59 AM]

Wed, 31 Oct 2001


If I owned a Lincoln Navigator, I would get the license plate: "navig8r". I hope nobody mistakes me for a l337 HAxx3r. (That's hacker-speak for "good hacker")

[October 31, 2001 @ 06:25 PM]

Nobody better wear my costume

And when I say "nobody", I mean "nobody". I wonder what I'm going to come as.

[October 31, 2001 @ 07:33 AM]