the mind lab

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Tue, 30 Oct 2001

Star Employee of the Year

Starting this year, and each year from here on out, I will choose an employee whose excellence in workplace I feel is invaluable. This year that employee is Mr. Shooter, or as we know him, just Jim. Jim is a good man who has done much for our company. As his reward he shall receive "the gift of excellence", a puppy dog, named Snoopy.

[October 30, 2001 @ 08:27 AM]

Mon, 29 Oct 2001

The Rings of Time Distort-ionizing

See that! I even said yesterday in my previous post. Yesterday to me was actually two days ago, Friday. Time passes uncontrollably around me, just like in Star Trek where sometimes the episodes look old and sometimes they look new. Sometimes the actors just change for no apparent reason. It is because of what they call a worm hole, or a ring of chronological distort-ionizing. What is more is the distort-ionizing envelopes I create around me are cool and exciting. For example, if you walk in my office, I might call you over and pull a quarter from out behind your ear.

Check out this Einstein who has found a cool and exiting time distort-ionizing ring too.

[October 29, 2001 @ 08:24 AM]

How old is Larry # 2

I didn’t get to finish this thought yesterday. As I was saying my immediate answer would be older than the universe itself, because my mind, not attached to my flesh body, is a part of the collective of space minds. Therefore age doesn’t matter and for the people who think my Keith Moon haircut and blue jay feather earring look dumb, we’ll you can just go hang out with your unenlightened non-space minds. Still if somebody knew my actual age, could they send me a memo with my age on it.

[October 29, 2001 @ 08:07 AM]

Fri, 26 Oct 2001

How old is Larry.

A lot of people have asked themselves how old is Larry. My immediate answer would be older than time itself. But – THAT STINKING PUPPY! Snoopy just made a mess again! I’m not into throwing puppies, but I may throw this one right back in the dumpster where I found him.

Another Garbage Puppy

[October 26, 2001 @ 08:39 AM]

Thu, 25 Oct 2001


I need to know how old I am. Seriously.

[October 25, 2001 @ 01:32 PM]

Handkerchief monogram

bought myself several dozen handkerchiefs with monograms on them today. I like to pull them out of my pockets like a magician and whip the secretaries’ buttocks when they go giggling by. It isn't like just snapping them with a wet towel, but snapping them with a symbol of sophistication with your name initialled on it.

H for Hankypanky

[October 25, 2001 @ 01:30 PM]

Wed, 24 Oct 2001

How old am I am?

I forgot how old I am. This is becoming a grave a concern. If somebody could please email me and let me know as soon as possible how old I am, I would be indebted. Alright, I have to cut this post short, Snoopy just used the bathroom on the fax machine.

[October 24, 2001 @ 07:54 AM]

Tue, 23 Oct 2001


I got a haircut today, sort of like one of those Keith Moon deals. I also got a really nice blue jay feather earring. It doesn’t look tacky at all. If anything it really sets off the red highlights in my hair. Damn. I’m the hippest 55 year old man I ever met… wait… or am I 45? Damn, I’m so hip I forgot how old I am.

[October 23, 2001 @ 11:13 PM]

Mon, 22 Oct 2001

Good job Snoopy. Now for your reward.

I'm taking you to Ren-Fest.

Don't bite the minstrels!

[October 22, 2001 @ 06:26 PM]

Don't Worry Snoopy! Christmas is just around the corner!

I know you probably aren't to happy about luggin Bono and all his Zooropa money around Snoopy, but Christmas is almost upon us. And if you are a good dog, Santa is going to treat you right with dogie-treats!!! I promise! Maybe Santa will even let you pull his sleigh, and we can charge him a couple bucks... you know... for the milk and cookies.

Ho-Ho-Ho!!! Merry Christmas!

[October 22, 2001 @ 06:11 PM]

Snoopy is gonna make me Bono-Rich!

You know how much money Bono has? Just think about it. That man owns half of Ireland I bet. I know I said I wouldn't make Snoopy pull the weight of a full grown man, but it looks like Bono is into dog carting too. With some of Bono's cash... well, Snoopy might have to endure a little pain.


[October 22, 2001 @ 06:06 PM]

When Snoopy Get's Big

All I'm saying is Sunday drives in the park, not for me of course though. I'm too big. But I'm not below selling good Snoopy's services to stray park children.

Who let the Dogs out!!!

[October 22, 2001 @ 05:39 PM]

Smoking Dogs

If I taught my dog Snoopy to smoke, maybe John would write a song about that too, in addition to the song about the superlung.

Puff, puff. I love smoking dogs!

[October 22, 2001 @ 12:55 PM]


He's gotta have superlungs the way I see it. I hope to god he eventually writes his book on the secret of his lungs. I'd even be content if he just wrote a song about his superlungs on one of his albums.

John's Lung Site

[October 22, 2001 @ 12:42 PM]

I bought a dog.

I bought a dog just so I could call it Snoopy.

[October 22, 2001 @ 07:34 AM]